Things and Stuff

I have met many wonderful new friends because Steve died.  Each of these friends lost a spouse, all struggling to come to terms with their loss.  There is no end to grief, it always lingers in our lives.  It becomes easier and familiar but is there nonetheless.  Dealing with each nuance of our grief is a continuing challenge.  

Decisions about the personal belongings of our loved one is never easy.  Certain belongings come to be significant.  Letting the item go can be traumatic.  I learned that letting an item go can be OK if the circumstances are right.  One of my friends is struggling with selling her husbands prized Corvette.  I suggested that selling it to someone that would love it and use it would please her husband.  About 3 1/2 years ago I made a decision based on necessity to sell a motorcycle that was mine; but in the last year of Steve's life became his.  I finally reconciled this when a woman contacted me to buy it.  I felt in my heart that Steve would like that I sold it to a woman.  I was one of a handful of women who rode back in the 80's, he was proud of me for riding.  I knew selling the bike to her would work and it did.  I've never felt guilty about selling such a big part of Steve's life.

I have seen complete extremes in people regarding a loved ones belongings.  One person immediately wants all reminders gone, others prefer to hold onto many items, and still others keep it all.  What is the right way to handle this?  There is no right or wrong.  You do what you have to do to get through the endless days of sadness.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve, you just put one foot in front of the other and move Day by Day and Minute by Minute.

I've traveled so far these past 5 1/2 years, I've met many wonderful new friends, I learned to pick up my life and move forward.  It has been a hard lesson but I've managed.  I have a long list of people I counted on to hold me up....none of them let me down.  I consider myself blessed to know them and blessed to have had Steve in my life.  He is gone but never forgotten.  Through losing Steve I have gained and that is what I look at now

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."  ~From a headstone in Ireland~


"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."  ~Kahlil Gibran~

Day 108 of 365.
Keep memories in your heart.....K