Sometimes I am overcome with sadness. No reason, no warning, just great sadness. I feel sad about everything. It is harder to deal with this overwhelming sadness as happiness is more often in my life . I don't understand....I find that if I wait it out it passes but sometimes I do stupid things in the midst of it. I should avoid doing that but don't always. I lash out or make decisions I shouldn't make. I should know better.
I sometimes read what I've written and think I sound like Little Miss Sunshine, sometimes I am but sometimes I am not.
I feel dark at times, darker than I would think possible. Why, I wonder, nothing is different. It is simply a state of mind. It will pass. I felt it starting last night. It may have been the end of our trip looming but I don't think so. It is bigger than that, it feels darker than that. Foreboding. I don't like how it feels.
I can't put a finger on what is wrong, I lash out it all directions. I cry, and shake my head wondering what is wrong. Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up and the feeling will be gone or not.
Not much else to say this day. I will go celebrate my wonderful Rebecca's birthday. I hope the dark, foreboding feelings leave.
Day 56 of 365.
Wait out the Storm.....K
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