Decisions

If you learned today that you had less than a year left in this life, what would you do?  Of course. this is nearly impossible to answer, it is difficult to know....we can guess but we truly don't know.  I don't know if Steve had been asked this question if his answer would have shadowed his real behavior.  What I do know is that I learned a lot from Steve.  He died the way he lived....one day at a time and in the minute.

Steve did not waste time feeling sorry for himself, he made every day, hour, minute and second count. He took the worst possible news, digested it with courage and then moved forward.  He asked questions, he weighed his options, he chose not to be a medical guinea pig,  I found myself wondering at times if he had heard Dr. Frank, did he understand he wouldn't get better??  I worried that he was deluding himself....he wasn't.  He knew the score but he didn't let it interfere with a single minute of his time.  HE decided what he would do with each and every minute he was given.

In June 2007, we took a family vacation to South Carolina to visit Michael & Nancy, we knew it would be our last time.  We followed Steve's lead, no one acted as if this would be our last trip together.
 
We had fun.....Steve at this point wasn't feeling well much of the time, he was using very high doses of pain medication, cancer in your bones is very painful, but he wanted to go, we went, he wanted to make the time count, we made the time count.....

I like to think I would be like Steve and would choose to live each day, I truly don't know though.  What I do know is that I admire his courage, his will, his love of life, his strength.   I do know that I learned from him in life and also in his death.  

Steve died as he lived.....on his own terms.  Way to go Steve.....

Day 22 of 365.

Decide ..K