Do We Get Over It?

It is my perception that people think we get over the loss of a loved one, that suddenly one day we awaken and realize all is well...'hey I'm over my grief'.  If you have lost someone of significance in your life you know this is not true.

I envision a gaping wound in the soul that ever so slowly heals leaving delicate scar tissue.  The life that I knew was snatched away, an explosion ripped through my life.   Ointment and bandages were applied to my wound....the soothing hug from a friend, the hand reaching to hold mine, the phone calls asking what I needed....the ointment.  Moving forward with every day tasks...the bandages.  The wounds are deep and angry, so much time is needed.  Many times I thought I was finally past the searing pain, the ever present ache only to have the tentative healing slowed, stopped or reversed.  Such set backs are disappointing.  

Do we get over our loss?  No, we don't, we always know its there.  What we do is find a special place to hold the loss so it can no longer rule our life....but it always remains with us.  It becomes comfortable, like old comfy slippers....

No, we do not get over grief, we travel through it, with it.  I believe we need to embrace our grief.....take it into our soul, hold it close...feel it, accept it and eventually the hold it has will lessen.  

A wonderful person came into my life when Steve died, she has helped me in so many ways, but best of all she is now a friend.  She told me "there is no right or wrong way to grieve".  Grief is personal, different for everyone.  

Sometimes it seems impossible that Steve has been gone 5+ years and other times it seems as though he has been gone for a lifetime.

 I am not "over" the loss of Steve, I am merely living with the loss, embracing it, holding it close.  Healing, growing, moving forward but always remembering, always holding my loss in my heart, in my soul.  At the end of the day I know I've made it.  I have traveled a long way and now I have that lost love in a special, secure place.....not over it, just learned to live with it.

Day 15 of 365

Accept.....K