Endings & Beginnings

This is where I am today, on the road to new beginnings.  The disguise of a painful ending has been difficult to navigate, often shrouded in fog, often with no clear direction, often with the appearance of a cliff at the end of the road.....but then finally with sunshine on the horizon.

We all have choices in life, we can choose defeat or we can rise up and triumph through any adversity.  Bad things do happen to good people.....rather cliche but also very true.

My heart is happy when Maddie talks about her chosen path in psychology, specifically family and grief.  The painful ending she experienced at age 11 has created a path, a new beginning.  I know she has a lot to bring forward, a true life knowledge base to help others.  She is quite a young lady.  She brings forward to life Steve's love of fun, his ability to let the bad things slide off his back.....

My 2 youngest, Todd and Maddie have lost a lot at a very young age.  In the past 5 years they have lost first and foremost their dad.  Steve reveled in being a dad, he loved sharing his passion for life with them.  He did too much for them but now I'm so very glad he did.  Did he know somewhere deep in his being that he had to squeeze a lot into a short time?   In addition to losing their dad they have lost all 4 of their grandparents, all following their dad.....most recently Steve's dad Ed.  His end was particularly sad and painful.  A vibrant, loving grandpa.

I see the pain these losses have brought to their lives but I also see their resilience in adversity.

Todd looks so much like Steve, I get to see a Steve I never knew in Todd.  Todd is very much his father's son.....much to my chagrin at times!  I remember a day several years ago.....I looked down and Todd's bare foot looked so exactly like Steve's that I thought for a very brief second it was Steve.  It makes me happy that Todd looks so much like Steve.

You see, life does go on, painfully at first but eventually life can be good again and it is.

My purpose in this blog is show the raw pain of loss and the rise toward new beginnings.  My hope is that I can help others to know this.

Day 9 of 365.
Peace and Love
K