Going On

I believe this.  There have, as I have previously written, been "winks" from Steve.  I know he watches over all of us.  

Steve loved our property, we had an exceptionally large lot for Niskayuna.  The back part had a lot of trees and brush, Steve referred to it as the "back 40", the kids referred to it as "the jungle".  It was nice having the space.  Steve loved it back there, he "hung out" and he took care of it, kept it manageable.  When he died, it became too much for me.  There was no life insurance when Steve died and many bills.....hindsight is a wonderful thing!  I got the idea to look into subdividing my property and selling the back portion.  It was a very long and frustrating process.....I needed to get my finances in order and selling that parcel was the answer.  Two years into the process it wasn't looking good, one set back after the other.  I stood on my deck and said, "Steve, I know you love the "back 40" but I need to do this, I don't have the time to keep it up and I have many, many bills to pay.  Please help me with this and stop making the road so bumpy."  Guess what??  He did help me....within the week, the problems fell away and the closing date was set.  It was a turning point for me.  There is now a house behind me, a young family......that is perfect.

I kept the motorcycle for a while after Steve died.  I thought maybe I'd ride again.  I never felt that I wanted to.  I put my Harley Dynaglide on Craig's List.  I got a few calls from guys, that fell through, but then a woman called......Steve agreed to let that go through.  He liked that I rode a Harley and he liked that my motorcycle went to Georgine.  Thanks Steve.

Am I giving credit where none is due??  No, I am not.  Steve was a presence to be reckoned with, he liked it his way, I stood up to him on many occasions and he would ease back.  He gave me a hard time until I let my feelings be known.  He was a good guy, a difficult guy, but I knew he'd always be there for me.  He still is.  He wants me to move on, to life life as he did, fully and happily so I do.

Life goes on but our loved ones are with us.  In our hearts, in our thoughts, but beyond that they watch over us.  I believe, not because I want to but because I know.

Day 30 of 365.

Believe......K